Super Dad

Wow. This whole "working for a living" thing is no joke. No. Joke.
When I get home at the end of a work day, I just want to collapse and stare at the wall for a little while, but when you have two kids that just isn't an option. Especially two kids that you miss like crazy the whole day.
Work. Dinner. Play time. Bath time. Bed time stories. More bed time stories. Kisses goodnight.
It's exhausting, and it leaves very little "me time."
It isn't all bad. Working is actually very rewarding for me. I like my co-workers. I enjoy using my brain. And the kids grow and learn and surprise me every day with how much they grow and learn.
At 3 years old, Michael is already talking about how when he is 4 he's going to go to "big" school, and Nicholas is pretty much saying a new word every day.

September is a very busy month at work. It's our fiscal year-end, which is especially hectic for the team and I in accounting. We've been working a lot of late nights as well as Saturdays, which means I'm not home a heck of a lot. That's been really hard for me, but I'm lucky that the daycare is in my office building - at least I can go see the kids when Luke comes to pick them up at the end of the day. And I'm still dropping them off in the morning before I have to start my work day.

I always knew Luke was a good dad. During baby-hood, he changed his fair share of the diapers, was always willing to help out with bottle-feeding when I wasn't nursing, and had a special knack for calming a cranky baby. We dubbed it "The Nook," because he would sit on the couch, and tuck the baby into the nook of his arm/hip/leg, jiggle a bit, and - *wham* - baby would settle right down. Luke had infinite patience and pep during Michael's potty training, and I'm sure it will be the same with Nicholas. He's an equal partner in post-dinner clean-up, bath times and bed times.
This month, though, Luke has gone above and beyond with the Super Dad bit. Since I've been at work a lot of evenings, he's been at home with the kids by himself. He's made them dinner every night - AND THEY HAVE EATEN IT. This is a Big Deal. My kids don't tend to eat a lot at dinner because they eat so much and so well at daycare, but mysteriously they are suddenly eating entire meals INCLUDING BROCCOLI when my husband feeds them. I'm a bit jealous.

The boys are having a blast with him, too. They go out for walks most nights, and Michael is learning new tricks on his trike. They have elaborately choreographed wrestling moves. They "body slam," and do "head bonks."

Of course I'm sad that I'm missing all this time with them, but it is also supremely rewarding to see them develop this amazing relationship with their dad. And it's really nice to know I don't have to worry about things when I'm not going to be home. Super Dad's got this.

My Other Family

I know I've said it before, and I'm beginning to sound like a whiner, but it was really tough to go back to work and leave my boys.

But I underestimated my Other Family. My work family at IKEA.
While I was on mat leave, I didn't think very much about how much I love the people there, and all the reasons that I have stayed with the company for 12 years.

When I first walked into the office last month, the first thing my work-bestie asked me was if I was okay. I was trying not to cry after I had left M at daycare and he didn't so much as look back over his shoulder at me as he ran off to play with his pals.
And then one of our funniest coworkers stopped by in our area, and I didn't want to look like an crying idiot so I pulled myself together and ended up laughing at something ridiculous he said.
And so it went. The first few days were kind of a honeymoon period, where people kept stopping at my desk to welcome me back, to ask about the kids and to look at pictures of them. It was the most popular I have ever felt in my life. It was pretty cool.

While IKEA is a big company, it's also kind of like a small town. I work with people now that I haven't seen in 10 years because we've both been in different locations since we first worked together. One of my favorite coworkers and I had ever only corresponded by email and phone for the better part of 4 years and now work at adjoining desks. The guy who hired me to work as a part time cashier 12 years ago works a few aisles to my left, and my first ever cash manager (from 12 years ago) works an aisle to my right. I've known people since before they were married with kids, and since before I was married with kids. I've been to their homes, their weddings, their baby showers. Hubby is even going to play on an all-IKEA curling team this winter. All of this goes a long way towards making it worthwhile to shlep into work every day.

One of the reasons I think that IKEA is so much like a family is because there are a lot of families there. Obviously with the exceptions of conflict-of-interest and direct-reports, IKEA is okay with office romance, and office family trees. I met hubby when we both worked in the store. Another work friend is expecting baby #2 with a guy she met through IKEA, too. There are husband and wife IKEA employees, brothers and sisters, parents and kids, neighbours... it's really cool when you think about it.

Anyway, I know a few of my IKEA buddies have even been so awesome as to read some of my blogs, and for that I am eternally grateful. Thank you guys and gals for making my work days so great - even when they can be extra-long days and we're fixing a giant mistake or dealing with some crisis. At least we're in it together, right guys? Right?

I'm Starting Early

Usually, a parent doesn't truly become an embarrassment to their children until the teenage years. Not me, I'm starting early. Herewith, an exact copy of an email I just sent to my oldest. Enjoy, internet!

Dear M,

This week at daycare you peed in your hair and on your face.

I'm not kidding, not even a little.

You were sitting on the toilet and decided to lean very far forward to see what was going on in there. Your pee went shooting up into your face and pushed your bangs straight up and out.

Smooth move, dude!

Love, Mommy.

CC: the internet

Dear Boys

If you have never seen the Dear Sophie ad from Google Chrome, you may not understand this post.

Dear Sophie doesn't exactly make me cry every time, but I do get a little misty-eyed. I think it's a beautiful idea, and I hope my kids love the memories I have shared with them.
I created email addresses for both of the boys, and although I haven't been entirely consistent about remembering to email them, I do send them stuff.
I emailed them links to the blogs about our last week together before my maternity leave was up, I've sent them the invitations to their own birthday parties, and sometimes I just email them to tell them how great they are.

This week, I emailed both of them separately.
N started walking more than two or three steps at a time, and I got a great video of him coming across the room towards me. I sent him the video and wrote him a little email about how awesome he was doing, and how I know that he will be running around in no time.
M turned 3 this week. THREE. Where has the time gone? I have no idea. I wrote him an email about his birthday party and basically just how great he is.

You know, I remember "grown ups" saying often how fast I was growing up and how big I was getting and how quickly time flies. This never made any sense to me. Time always dragged. I felt like I would be in elementary school forever. High school and college were slightly less long, but then I hit the working world. Monday to Friday. Week in and week out. No Christmas break or reading week or summer vacation, at least not two months worth. Talk about time dragging.
And then I had M, and I blinked, and he's 3. Unbelievable.

There are several great things about the boys having email addresses.
Friends and family can email them, too. When one of my best friends had a special bonding playtime with M, she sent him a hilarious email about it.
Their grandparents can send them pictures and funny emails, and the boys will always be able to enjoy those.

But also - I'm the administrator of their accounts, so I can go in and read the emails in there. It's like flipping through a scrapbook of memories, and it never fails to make me laugh reading about the crazy antics of my boys.

Thanks, Google.

Week One

Leaving the boys and going back to work was tough. I miss them and our fun a lot
Hubby takes N to daycare, which means I spend less time with him than I do with M. By the time N and hubby arrive home at the end of the day, it's time to eat, and then we usually only have about half an hour to play before he is completely exhausted and ready for bed.
On Wednesday, M told me, "I want to stay home with you guys and Daddy can go to work."
Do you hear that? It's the sound of my heart breaking into a million pieces.

Fortunately, both of the boys are loving daycare. N is adapting well despite not having a lot of time to ease into it. M is finally getting the hang of using the potty at his daycare, which may not seem like a big deal, but it means he's taking the transition to full-time quite well.

My work is not terrible. I have been with the company for almost 12 years, and I have a lot of good friends there. This week has been kind of a reunion, and I feel nearly popular with all the people stopping by my desk to welcome me back.

And we still managed to have an exciting week as a family!
Auntie Gaga arrived from the far North this week, which was exciting for both the boys and myself. N couldn't stop hugging her, and M led her around by the hand rather bossily, demanding she read to him and play with this toy and throw this ball and push this car.

We had a family BBQ this weekend, and met my other cousin's baby girl. She is SUPER cute and so tiny and I loved being able to snuggle her. The boys loved playing with their cousins and being doted on by their aunties and uncles and great aunties and uncles. Great Grampa even made an appearance!

Today we went to the Air Show. Wow. I have never been to an air show that I recall, and it Blew My Mind. I'm like a kid with airplanes, I love to watch them fly, I love flying in them, I'm fascinated by rockets and spaceships. YOU GUYS, WE MET AN ASTRONAUT!!!

M may have been mostly excited by the sticker that @Astro_Jeremy gave him, but he wasn't shy at all, and even sat on his knee for the picture. 

Hubby seemed to really enjoy this Father's Day outing, getting some snuggle time in with N, who wasn't bothered by the noise once he got used to the ear muffs we put on him:

 Of course, nothing tops the excitement of a 3 year old watching planes scream by at warp speed. I leave you with this image of pure joy and wonder.

The Best-Worst Week: Sunday

Here we go folks, the last day.

And it started earrrrrrrrly. 6:30 in the morning. M hollered that he had to pee, so we got up to help him and then went back to bed. But with hubby snoring and M chatting away in his room, I couldn't go back to sleep, so I got M up and we had some breakfast. Then we went outside to play with his slide and his trucks, but it was a bit buggy so he needed some ammunition. I armed him with his bubble gun, and that really helped.

When N started to wake up, we went back inside to get him up and feed him breakfast with hubby. Then we were off for another adventure-filled day. First we went to ECS Coffee, which, if you aren't familiar, is like Bulk Barn for Keurig coffee K-cups, as my sister puts it. Then we needed to find some new sunglasses for hubby for his baseball game. Once that was done, we headed to Food Truck Alley for lunch. We had some gourmet grilled cheese from Hamilton's own Gorilla Cheese, and then ice cream from Kool Jim's Ice Cream Truck. Delicious!

After lunch, M and I dropped hubby and N off at home for nap time (rigid schedule, remember?), and then the two of us went to do some grocery shopping. He fell asleep in the car on the ride home, so both boys had really decent naps, and I was able to finish prepping for Monday: bags of extra clothes and diapers and sunscreen for daycare. This sent me on a crying jag, of course, and I texted my bestie who is on vacation in Edmonton for some much needed emotional support.

When nap time ended, hubby helped me load up the boys and the puppy. First we stopped at my grampa's for a quick cookie and kisses, then we went to my dad's for dinner. We had a delicious roast beef that my dad cooked on his barbecue's rotisserie with my dad and step-mom, and my sister and her husband. The boys were in seventh heaven with their auntie and uncle there, and their puppy running around hoping for table scraps. After dinner we gave the boys a bath in "Nana's Big Bathtub," a deep whirlpool tub. Everything was going great until N pooped mid-bath. This was a first for me, and M thought it was hilarious. We rushed the boys to the guest bathroom, and showered them off in that tub. Freshly washed and in clean PJs, we loaded them into the car and headed home. With hubby at baseball, I played with them for a little while before taking N up for bed.

M and I snuggled on the couch, and talked to my auntie on the phone, who tried her best to reassure me about going back to work. M had to tell her all about his brother pooping in the tub, and after we said goodbye, we headed up to his room to read several stories before bed.

And so ends the best-worst week ever. While going back to work promises to be extremely difficult, there are a few things to look forward to this week. The Burlington Sound of Music festival is this coming weekend, and I'm looking forward to the Spice Girls Tribute band, as well as the country music group Doc Walker. Even more exciting than faux Spice Girls is that my cousin is down visiting from Yellowknife this week! The boys (M in particular), are super excited about this, because "Auntie Gaga" is pretty much a rockstar around these parts. Plus, we have a big family BBQ on Saturday, where we get to meet my other cousin's new little baby girl.

This week has really put things in perspective for me. It further reinforced the fact that time is fleeting, especially with young kids, and that you have to cherish every moment. This is a personal challenge that I plan to take very seriously, because it's easy to lose sight of. It is very easy to lose time reading facebook or grumbling about mundane chores, while it is much harder to focus on being present as much as possible in our kids' lives. I want them to know that they are the most important thing in my life and that I love them more than anything. I emailed them copies of this week's blogs so that hopefully they can really understand how much they mean to me.

The Best-Worst Week: Saturday

Saturday was proclaimed Family Fun Day in our house, and I planned a surprise for M.

I love coupons. Coupons, Groupons, WagJags, Dealfinds, love them. I probably buy more of the deals than is strictly necessary, but as a colleague of mine says, "They went to all that work to mark down the price, so it would just be rude NOT to buy it!"
I recently bought a WagJag for a family pass to the Halton Radial Railway Museum. Neither hubby or I had ever heard of the place, but M is in love with trains. It stems from his love of Thomas of course, but he's pretty open minded. He can still be very impressed by your average commuter train or freight train, so riding on a train of any sort is a huge deal.

We set off in the hopes of arriving just after the museum opened, but through a comedy of errors, it took us probably more than half an hour longer to arrive than it should have. Firstly, I was under the mistaken impression that it was located at Kelso Conservation Area, and headed in that direction. Thankfully, in the car, I had hubby double check the location. Well, he didn't enter the right city with the address, so while he turned us correctly westward, he also sent us back south. Wrong. AND in the meantime, we were waylaid by the Ride To Conquer Cancer using the side roads in their noble cause.

Ain't no road trip like a backwards family road trip! N fell asleep on the ride, which was actually a good thing. It gave him a bit more patience for the rest of the day.
When we finally arrived at our destination, M was really excited to see all of the trains parked everywhere. When we exchanged our WagJag for the ticket, he got his hand stamped, which is pretty much in his Top Ten Favourite Things To Do Ever. Just ask my librarian auntie! Then we headed out to the platform, where an antique streetcar took us for about a 7 minute ride out into the woods. There, we stopped at a little station where an out-of-use streetcar doubled as an ice cream parlour. Yum!

After a bit of exploring, we caught another train back to the main station. There they had a huge shed with restored trains and streetcars and subways that you could climb into and explore, and a few buttons to push that made lights flash or whistles blow. M loved it. He posed in front of every train without needing to be prompted, and smiled for the camera whether it was ready or not! I particularly enjoy this one because of the "do not climb" sign he is blatantly ignoring:

In comparison, the rest of the day was pretty low key! The boys and hubby all had naps when we came home, and I wrote yesterday's blog and pretty much bawled my eyes out. We had a quiet family dinner, and then played outside until it was time for the boys to go to bed. I read them extra stories and gave them extra long cuddles, and then I cried some more.
I think hubby wants to have me institutionalized.

The Best-Worst Week: Friday

Friday was pretty laid back.
The kiddos and I took it easy in the morning, we had a lazy breakfast and then hung out in the playroom for awhile before we took off for the grocery store.
It was our neighbour's birthday, and we were hosting a little neighbourhood BBQ for him in the evening.

Then the boys and I had lunch with my dad and step-mom at her office, which was lovely. The boys love Nana and Grampa, and Nana got to show her grandsons off to her coworkers.

I came home to find that the new food we are feeding my dog is upsetting her stomach... all over our basement floor. This marked the first time this entire week that I turned the TV on for the boys, but I didn't have a choice. They enjoyed Thomas and Friends while I cleaned up. Poor puppy.

While the boys napped, I prepped for the party, and then I fed them shortly after they got up. Hubby took M outside to help him with some party prep, and N and I just played inside. He was kind of lazy, and didn't like the Learn-To-Walk lessons I was providing, so he kept laying down on the floor.

Who am I to argue with that adorable face??

Mostly luckily for us, N is very attached to his routine and schedule. "Mostly" luckily because goodness forbid we should try to keep him out a bit later than his normal bedtime and THIS happens:

But it also means he consistently goes to bed at a reasonable time and sleeps through pretty much anything. Once he was settled in for the night, I went back to work on food for the party. We promised M he could stay up for the party since it's a special week, which was very exciting for him. He played on his new slide and basically entertained the guests as they arrived. He got to eat about a pound of chips and a slice of ice cream cake, and when it was time for bed, he managed to get my sister-in-law AND my girl friend to read him bedtime stories.

Truth be told, I was so exhausted from the preparations that I didn't last too much longer than he did before I went up to bed myself! I tried to bring M into bed with me but he didn't seem to like it and kept turning himself around in circles like he didn't know how to handle sleeping in such a big space, so I put him back in his own bed.

And that was the end of the weekdays...

The Best-Worst Week - Thursday

Today was not easy.

We went to see my Grampa again, which was lovely, but M was a little crazy. I think I have been letting him off easy this week, trying to be "Fun Mom," and he didn't like it when I was a bit more strict with him because we were in a more restricted environment. THAT did not go over well. When he told me, for the first time ever, "Mom, I don't like you," I burst into tears. Oh, I know, he'll probably say a lot worse, many more times in my life, but the first time hurt. A lot. Especially this week.

It kind of sent me into an emotional tailspin, once the floodgates were open it was difficult to stop - not about what he said, I know he didn't mean it, but it brought up all of the emotions I'm feeling about having to leave them to go back to work. I still made sure I was present and interactive and loving with my kids all day, I just felt an undercurrent of sadness, too.

So there was the nice visit with my Gpa, and also with my sister who came down to meet us. Then she came back to the house to spend the afternoon with us. The kids love my sister, and were all over her with requests for book readings and snuggles.

Plus, when the kids went down for their nap, my sister and I had awesome naps of our own.

This evening we had dinner with one of the ladies from the convent. My super-awesome kids LOVE sushi! M gets really excited about "mee-see" (miso) soup, and they both love salmon sashimi and shrimp tempura. 

Around the kids' bedtime, I started to feel sad again. While I was snuggling with N before putting him down, I lost it and started sobbing into his sweet little head which was nuzzled into my neck. I guess it must have tickled him or something because he started giggling uncontrollably, which made me laugh. It was such an awesome moment. He just laughed and laughed until he got the hiccups which made us both laugh even more. What a perfect little boy.

And when I put M to bed, I told him I loved him. He said, "I love you, mom." Perfect.

The Best-Worst Week: Wednesday

When M was little, my aunt told me about a volunteer opportunity called Baby Therapy at a local convent. Basically you take your babies to the convent to visit the elderly Sisters and it cheers them up. As a mother, you get to hear how beautiful your baby is over and over again, and talk to these amazing women who have taught or served the church all over the world. It is really a fantastic experience.
On top of that, I have become friends with the two awesome women who run the volunteer and recreation programs for the convent, and we have had some fun nights out along the way.

Today we visited the convent. I know it's NOT the last time we'll visit, but it was still bittersweet because we won't be able to every week. N and I regularly visit a 97 year old Sister, while M hangs out in the office with the ladies, or follows them to the dining room in the hopes of charming the kitchen staff into giving him a cookie. When it was time to leave, I almost had to drag M, kicking and screaming because he loves those ladies!

Fortunately, we had another stop to make that enticed M to leave quietly: we went to meet hubby for lunch at Mother's Pizza. I was so excited when they re-introduced this chain to our area, because I have great memories of going there as a kid, and today's lunch did not disappoint! The root beer float was heavenly and the pizza was delicious. Having lunch with hubby is such a nice treat for the kiddies. They absolutely revere him, and just think he's the coolest person ever.
Did I mention the root beer float??

Last night, super-cool hubby bought us a storage ottoman so that we can just chuck in all of the kids' toys and close the lid. We used to have several bins and boxes, but now we can consolidate them, AND it adds extra seating to our room. After lunch at Mother's, N went down for a nap, and M and I cleaned the playroom and loaded up the new box, before it was time for him to have a nap as well. The kids only had 20 minutes to play before dinner so they didn't do much damage to the clean floor, but we'll see how it goes tomorrow.
Here is the "before" shot:

The Best-Worst Week: Tuesday

Wow. What a great day!

When we headed out for our daily adventures, we had no idea what we were in for.
First, what did I spot discarded and alone at the side of the road a few blocks from home? A tiny slide for tiny people, i.e. my two darling boys! I packed it as well as I could and drove it home to stash it in the garage. I tried to do all of this without the boys (especially M) seeing the slide so that I could surprise them with it.

Okay, back on the road again! We live on the lake, near a shipping channel with a lift bridge, which is our only alternative to taking the highway. Guess what? Already running late due to the slide find, we hit the lift bridge in the "lift" position. Actually, aside from the delay inconvenience, this is pretty cool. We pulled into the parking lot and piled out of the car to watch the giant barge coming through, pushed by a tugboat!

And finally, to our intended destination: a visit with my 97 year old grandfather, AKA the coolest man to ever live. The kids love going to see him: he has an unending supply of cookies, he calls them by crazy nicknames, and M loves it when Gpa gives him rides on his walker. Also, my aunts were there which means M and N had two more adoring fans in attendance. Grampa did not disappoint. M had two walker-rides and two cookies, and N was called "bubble butt" and "sly guy."
This song by Jason Blaine always reminds me of my Grampa.

Then the aunties invited the boys and I for lunch. We originally thought Tim Horton's, but then M declared that he wanted FRIES, so we opted for McDonald's. Lunch was lovely. M managed to decorate everyone with honey, N ate enough for a small army, and I got to enjoy my family!

While the boys napped, I cleaned off the slide. I couldn't wait to see their faces when they saw it.
At dinner time, hubby asked the boys about their day. M: "mommy picked up a kid's slide from the side of the road for us!" Well, there went that surprise.

At any rate, they still had a lot of fun playing on the slide. It's a bit big for N, but he'll grow into it sooner than I can imagine! This day, this week, this year, this past 3 years, have flown by. I only wish I could slow it down a little.

The Best-Worst Week: Monday

I can't wait until naptime!
Is it bedtime yet?
I can't wait to go on vacation!
I can't wait until Christmas!
Only a few more weeks until M's birthday!
I can't wait until N can walk!

I could wring my own neck for wishing all of that time away with my babies, because now there are only 7 days left in my maternity leave, and then I have to go back to work. For the rest of my life.

First of all, yes, I am aware that I am a lucky bastard to have had this time with them. I am beyond lucky to have only worked 4 months of the last 3 years. I know all of this, and I am grateful for what I have had. And it doesn't make it any easier.

In my morose, self-pitying state, I can only think that I wished it all away. And so, this will be the worst week, with the spectre of gainful employment hanging over my head.

BUT.

I have SEVEN days of freedom left with my two gorgeous boys. SEVEN days to play and explore and cuddle and hug and kiss. Not that any of this will stop in any way after I'm back at work, but these days are FREE. This will be the Best Week.

Day one was fantastic.
We went to a great kids program at our public library called Story Time, which both my kids love. N sits in his stroller and bops along to the music and claps a lot. M, on the other hand, sits on my lap (LOVE IT! I never get snuggles like that anymore!), and refuses to participate in any of the songs or actions. He is both shy and a giant snob, not unlike his mother. He does love getting stamps on his hands at the end of the session though.
On the way home, I asked M what he wanted for lunch, and he said, "noodles and my special sauce." He hasn't asked for that in a long time, so I was happy to oblige. Am I the worst mom ever? His "special sauce" is cream of mushroom soup. Next to zero health value but delicious.
After lunch we went outside to play. I pulled out the giant bucket of dump trucks and back hoes and excavators, so we could sit in the sun and make vroom-vroom noises while driving the heavy machinery around.
While I made dinner, M decided he would hang out with me in the kitchen and do a puzzle. That way, N can't wreck it because he's in the gated playroom. We had a lovely family dinner and then all four of us headed outside with the puppy to play some more.
After N went to bed, I decided to let M stay up later than usual and I took him grocery shopping with me. We made grotesque faces and stuck out our tongues at each other, and talked like valley girls. "Okayyyy? OKAY!" That kid can turn any mundane task into a joy.
Before bed I read him a bunch of his new library books, said his prayers, and tucked him in. "I love you, baby boy." Pause. "Mom? You have a big butt! Hahahahaha!" Sigh.

It's Been Awhile

It's been awhile since I last posted. Did you know parenting is a lot of work? And when you finally collapse in a heap on the couch or in your bed at the end of the day, you don't necessarily even think about blogging?
Okay, I know there are a million moms out there with blogs, and some of them have a lot more kids than my two. (Oh yeah, I had another boy since the last time I wrote!)

Life happens. And I'm okay with the fact that I skipped out on my blog. But now I'm back, and I have a topic/ theme in mind, so I thought I'd start with this mini segue back into blogging.